Someday
by I Need Space - And Fresh Air
Summary: Missing Scene post 4x21 - Blaine and Kurt in the Lima Bean discussing what Blaine chickened out about asking Kurt in McKinley's hallway near the end of the episode. Spoilers through 4x21 and mention of a certain deleted scene from Season 3 ("The Box Scene"). No foul language, but brief mention of some adult content.


A/N - I wrote this the night before the Season 4 finale and I don't know why.

Disclaimer: I don't own Glee.

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Something had changed.

An epic weight was lifted off Kurt's shoulders when he found out that his father's cancer was in remission and Blaine was so happy to see the older boy smiling again.

NYADA's spring break coincided with Regionals, so Kurt was planning on sticking around Lima for a few days anyway. Blaine knew Kurt was going to Regionals before he asked him. Kurt knew Blaine knew he was going to Regionals before he asked him. Blaine knew Kurt knew he knew Kurt was going to Regionals before he asked him.

They were alone at the Lima Bean, which wouldn't have been a big deal except that it was. This was their first time there alone since they broke up and it pained Blaine as soon as he sat down that they were, in fact, still broken up.

Blaine was grateful that Kurt excused himself to the restroom, giving him a few precious minutes to try and collect himself. They were there under the pretenses that "we need to talk" (Kurt's words, not his) and the McKinley senior wracked his brain for every theme of their upcoming conversation. Burt told Kurt about Blaine's intentions to propose. Kurt was dating Adam. Kurt loved Adam. Kurt was engaged to Adam. Kurt was already married to Adam. Blaine never met Adam, but was pretty sure he hated him for swooping in and charming the pants off Kurt. Blaine's eyes widened when he remembered that pants meant underwear. His stomach churned at the very thought of Adam doing anything to Kurt's pants.

Kurt was back in his seat and Blaine's biscotti remained untouched, the universal sign that something was wrong.

With a gentle hand, Kurt reached across the table and jostled Blaine's arm. "Earth to Blaine," he teased in a slightly uneasy voice. "You okay?"

Blaine twitched, his elbow almost knocking over the full cup of coffee on the table. "What? Yeah, oh!" Kurt steadied the coffee cup, causing Blaine to get even more flustered. Kurt had already told him that he was cute when he got nervous and that made the butterflies in Blaine's stomach do an intricately choreographed routine to some up-tempo number that only they could hear.

When Kurt thought it was safe to let go of Blaine's coffee, he settled himself in his chair and took a sip of his own drink. Blaine's face was beet red and Kurt smiled to himself from behind his coffee as he watched the other boy. Though he was tempted to let Blaine's obvious unease play out for a while longer, Kurt desperately wanted to know what was causing his best friend to be acting so strangely.

"Can I ask you something?" At another time, Blaine would have retorted cheekily that by asking if he could ask a question, Kurt had already asked him something. But that was then and this was now and flirtatious bickering was no longer on their table.

With a slow nod, Blaine subjected himself to Kurt's query.

"Before," Kurt started slowly, "at school in the hallway… what were you going to ask me?"

Hazel eyes flashed wide. The lighthearted mood from earlier was long gone, which was not a surprise to Kurt. "Oh, um…" Blaine swallowed even though there was nothing in his mouth. He shook his head, buying a couple extra seconds as he shrugged. "Regionals. You know… if you could… go," he finished lamely, knowing full well Kurt was likely not going to leave it at that.

Kurt knew that was a lie and was torn between calling Blaine out on it or leaving it be. They used to be able to tell each other anything and Kurt was worried that they were never going to be able to get back together if they couldn't be honest with each other. Communication was their biggest strength and weakness. Before they were a couple, they could confide in each other about everything outside of their own relationship – fashion, music, school, friends. But, it was often hard for them to talk about their feelings toward each other.

What seemed obvious to everyone else was usually a mystery to the two boys. People assumed Kurt and Blaine were boyfriends weeks before that was even something that crossed Blaine's mind. Once together, they were embarrassed to initiate conversation about acting on being intimate with one another. Later, Kurt didn't know how much Blaine was struggling with their long distance relationship until he found out that Blaine cheated on him in a moment of helplessness. They had loved each other in some capacity since the day they met, yet somehow couldn't always voice their true feelings or concerns which lead to passive aggressive interactions and ultimately their break up despite the love they obviously shared.

Though it took a lot of self-reflection, Kurt was ready to talk to Blaine about them. He accepted Blaine's apologies months ago and though he could never completely forgive Blaine for what he did, Kurt understood that both of them were at fault for what happened. Blaine might have been the one to cheat, but Kurt knew he actively had a part in pushing Blaine away with the phone calls he let go to voicemail, or the Skype sessions he commandeered to talk about work or his life in New York City when in hindsight he remembered a lot of them started off with Blaine asking him advice about his Senior Class president campaign or attempting to facilitate "Track Eight" (which was their code for cyber sex as Blaine coyly pointed out that "Digital Get Down" was the eighth song on NSYNC's sophomore album).

Trying to "get over" Blaine was never in the cards and when Kurt finally accepted that he loved and was still in love with Blaine despite their epic bump in the road, he was determined to find out if Blaine was on the same page. He thought he had his answer to the question he hoped not to have to ask when Blaine was rambling earlier in the hallway. Blaine's demeanor had reminded him of that time in the Dalton study lounge when Blaine confessed that Kurt moved him and then leaned in for their first of hundreds of kisses. Kurt's heart raced in anticipation in the hallway, hoping Blaine would initiate their reunion so he wouldn't have to be the one to lay his heart out on the line.

Blaine had used the word courage and between the two of them that meant something big. So when Blaine asked about Regionals, Kurt found himself disappointed and wishing that Blaine had spoken his mind and asked whatever it was that he wanted to ask.

Perhaps the younger boy needed some encouragement. Kurt knew he himself was the one who was preventing them from moving forward because Blaine had told him time and time again the past few months that the ball was in his court.

Sports metaphors were never his forte, but Kurt knew he needed to say something to reassure Blaine that he was finally ready to get back together. "I broke things off with Adam, you know. Weeks ago." He watched as Blaine's eyebrows slid up, mouth dropping open to form a small O. Kurt ducked his head and began fiddling with the sugar packets on the table. His nervous hands needed to be occupied and he was too afraid if he grabbed his drink, he would spill it. When Blaine didn't say anything after a few moments, Kurt dared to look up. He found Blaine staring at him, but battling with himself to try to say the right thing.

"I -," Blaine stopped before his face finally settled into a forced, but somehow still genuine look of concern, as if it was taking all the willpower he had to put Kurt's feelings first and completely try to mask whatever was going on in his own heart. "I'm sorry."

Kurt cocked his head slightly. "Are you?" he challenged, wanting to hear the truth from the boy he still loved. Blaine's eyes glassed over quickly and the younger boy dropped his head. He put a hand up, as if to run it through his hair, but he stopped short when his fingers brushed against the hardened shell of gel. "Blaine? Talk to me?"

With a shake of his head, Blaine's gaze remained on the table. Kurt knew Blaine would either shut down or explode if prodded and in that moment, Kurt needed him to do neither.

After a few deep breaths, Blaine slowly looked up. He clenched his teeth once and then again before trying to relax his jaw as he forced his shoulders back. "What do you want me to say?" His voice was low and on the verge of sounding broken.

"The truth?" Kurt asked, feeling himself getting frustrated at no one in particular. "I don't need you to tell me what you think I want to hear." He sighed and brought a hand to his face, pinching the bridge of his nose between his forefinger and thumb. "We need to figure out how to be honest with each other or this isn't going to work."

"What isn't going to work?"

"Us," Kurt replied. "This." He sighed through his nose, knowing that he had to keep going or he'd never get it out. "I love you, Blaine. I'm still in love with you. And earlier in the hallway, I thought you were going to ask me out. But you… didn't." He looked at his ex-boyfriend with an expectant look on his face, hoping Blaine would let him in somehow.

Blaine's heart raced. He was so caught up in wanting to make a bold move and then so down on himself for chickening out that he didn't even realize that a small step forward would have been better than no steps at all. More and more his plan to propose to Kurt seemed like the second worst idea he ever had. "Did you _want_ me to ask you out?"

Kurt nodded. "I did." He watched Blaine's shoulders sag in defeat. "I still do." Blaine's jaw dropped, but Kurt continued before Blaine had a chance to say anything. "I don't mean right this second, because we obviously still have some stuff to hash out, but if you wanted to ask me out…" Kurt sighed and looked Blaine in the eye. "Can I ask you something?" Blaine nodded, not quite sure what Kurt's question would be. "Have you been with anyone since… since the wedding?" With a swallow, Blaine shook his head, eyebrows furrowing. Kurt gave a small smile. "Me neither."

"Not even –" the British boy's name got caught in Blaine's throat.

"No," Kurt said quickly. "He and I, we never… I mean, he _wanted_ to and I thought about it, but…" Kurt lifted his coffee to his lips, and took a sip, debating how to finish his sentence. Siding with complete honesty, Kurt confessed quietly, "I didn't love him."

"Kurt –" Blaine pled his name, ready to explain for the millionth time how he was sorry about cheating on Kurt and how Eli meant absolutely nothing and that it wasn't that he didn't love Kurt it was that he wanted to feel something – anything – because he was so lost.

"I know you're sorry, Blaine. And I didn't say that because I needed to hear you apologize again," Kurt explained. "I just needed you to know that I didn't love Adam. I never loved him. He wasn't _you_." The older boy slid a hand across the tabletop, palm up. Blaine eyed the offering before gently placing his own palm in Kurt's. "This is me being honest, okay?"

Blaine nodded, understanding the effort Kurt was making. Ever since their conversation just before Sectionals, Blaine was sure that Kurt still loved him. But, it wasn't until just then that he understood that Kurt was in love with him and only him. He took a deep breath, knowing he owed Kurt the same honesty in return.

"Before," Blaine started shakily, "in the hallway… I was trying to ask if you… if you would… if you wanted to…" He cocked his head, wanting to look anywhere but Kurt's face but forcing himself to keep his hazel eyes locked on blue.

Kurt's eyebrows lifted, encouraging Blaine to spit out whatever it was he was spectacularly failing to say. "If I wanted to…"

"Marry… me." Blaine's chest heaved, as if a giant weight had been lifted, but a new, heavier one had settled in its stead as he watched Kurt's eyes grow wide and his jaw drop at the completely unexpected request.

"Blaine, I –" There were no words.

The younger boy closed his eyes and shook his head. "I know. It was stupid. We aren't even back together, I just thought that I had to do something bold. But your dad was right and we're not –"

"My dad?!" Kurt yanked his hand out of Blaine's and held both his up in confusion, trying to process everything Blaine was saying, but coming up short.

Blaine winced, fearing he was digging himself into a bigger hole than he already expected he was in. "I sort of… asked your dad yesterday if it was okay with him that I ask you to marry me."

"And what did he say?"

"He said," Blaine started, thinking back to the day before. "He said we were too young and that marriage should be about loving a person and not an idea." Blaine looked down at the table, ashamed of himself. "I love you so much, Kurt. And now that gay marriage is legal in New York I just… I just thought that if I didn't ask you to marry me that… someone else would. That you'd find someone else."

"Blaine," Kurt said in exasperation. "Blaine, sweetheart, we're both still in school. We don't even live in the same state right now." This was almost too much for Kurt to handle in the moment. "I l_ove_ you. I love _you_, but… we can't get married."

"I wasn't expecting us to get married this weekend," Blaine chuckled humorlessly. "More of a lengthy engagement?" His normally perfect posture was far-gone and his shoulders had slumped in on themselves. "I didn't even have a ring yet, homemade or otherwise. I don't know what I was thinking. You deserve so much better than this."

Kurt couldn't help but give a sad smile. He used to dream about Blaine proposing to him and thought back to the Christmas before when Blaine presented him with a ring box. Kurt hadn't even opened it but said that if it was an engagement ring then his answer was yes. It seemed so long ago. "I thought I was ready to marry you then, you know. But after the whole Finn and Rachel fiasco, I was glad we hadn't rushed into anything."

Blaine snorted through his nose. "Your dad brought them up too." After heaving a heavy sigh, Blaine fiddled with his coffee cup. "It's just, I never thought I would be able to get married. But then when you came along, everything seemed to fall into place. All of a sudden I saw the possibility of a husband and a family and… and after what I did to you – to us - I was so afraid of losing that. Of losing you."

"I'm still here, Blaine," Kurt said softly. "Right here." Kurt put his hand back on the table. "Will you take my hand? Please?" With a stuttered sigh, Blaine hesitantly placed his hand back in Kurt's. "Someday." Kurt swallowed before he continued, "Someday you're going to ask me to marry you." Blaine's eyes welled up as Kurt spoke. "Even though you claim you're not very good at romance, you'll say something that will take my breath away and make me fall even more in love with you." One by one, tears dripped down Blaine's cheeks and onto his shirt. "I'll say yes," Kurt stated as calmly as he could, though his voice began to break, emotions becoming too overwhelming in the moment. "I'll say yes. _Someday_. Okay?"

Through a sniffle, Blaine nodded. He understood that now was not the time for such a big step in their relationship. They weren't even twenty and he knew in his heart of hearts that they still had so much to learn about themselves and each other before they made such a commitment. They had talked about marriage before, each confessing that they only intended to say "I do" once and that if they were legally allowed to get married, they would not take that for granted. There was a reason "Come What May" was going to be their song, because they promised to love each other until the end of time.

Blaine felt like an idiot for almost rushing through a proposal that was supposed to be the start of the rest of their lives. Kurt's love for him could not be treated like a given anymore – it had to be earned. "I'm sorry, Kurt," he murmured through the last of his tears.

Kurt shook his head, wiped a stray tear from Blaine's eyelashes before cupping the younger boy's cheek. "I don't need any more apologies, Blaine, just the truth." Blaine gave him a half smile, knowing that things would eventually smooth over. "You okay?"

With a small but confident nod, Blaine shifted around in his seat and sat a little bit straighter. "Yeah." He bit his lip and ran a thumb slowly over Kurt's knuckles. He took a deep breath, knowing what he had to do to get them back on track. "Can I ask you something?" The NYADA student smiled and gave him a non-verbal go-ahead. "Um, do you, I mean, will you – "

Kurt's eyebrows shot up toward his hairline in shock. "Blaine, I said someday!"

Blaine shook his head and laughed through his nose. "Kurt. Would you… uh, do you want to go out with me?" He looked at Kurt with hopeful eyes, silently pleading for affirmation that he was, in fact, doing the right thing.

"Oh," Kurt remarked with a smile. "Yes," he replied. "I do."


End file.
